2nd Grade

Felix heads back to school tomorrow. I'm sad, he's happy.

We have had such a great Summer. I have had many three day weekends and we have spent a lot of time together. Our mornings were full of adventures. It's been such a great reminder on why I took this job in the first place when Felix was 10 months old. I wanted more time with him, I wanted to be able to take him to school every morning, I wanted to be able to help in his class, I just wanted to make sure I was there!

Now I'm going to miss our mornings, but it's not about me, it's about him growing. He is excited and I am excited for him. I love that he loves school. I love that he looks forward to the new year starting.   I love that he feels so connected to CSS.

I know 2nd grade will be great. I know his reading is going to take off. I know his writing will get better. I know that math will get more comfortable. I know that his commitment to his community will continue to be strong. I know that his confidence will continue to grow.

Baby Beluga, I can't wait to see you walk in the classroom door tomorrow. I cannot wait to see you smile and hug Teacher Brandi. I cannot wait to see you lock eyes with your best friends. I love you and cannot wait to hear all about you first day.

FOUR!

Well, that went by fast! I cannot believe Oscar turned four today.

Oscar is still full of spunk! He is still a daredevil and never slows down. Life with him is always an adventure! Oscar loves to copy Felix and wants to be just like him. He is a chatterbox and asks a million questions a minute...all the way up to bed time! His love for me is out of this world. He is so completely attached and I LOVE it! He and Walter have a night time routine that only they can do together, it fills my heart with happiness. His sentences don't always make sense and he doesn't use the phrase "I guess so" correctly, but I absolutely love it! He can count to 40, he recognizes all shapes, letters, numbers and colors and it blows me away each time he finishes a puzzle in a matter of minutes.

Oscar Vincent, you are a powerhouse! Your determination and strong personality is amazing! I love every ounce of you! I love your scar even though it is a scary memory. I love your beauty marks. I love your chipped front tooth. I love all the little quirks about you, but what I love most is your zest for life! Everything is a little more exciting when you are a part of it and it makes life so much more fun! Happiest Birthday, Sweet babe! I love you beyond measure and will always be your biggest fan! Please keep questioning life, please keep loving as hard as you do and most of all please always know your family loves you BIG TIME!

Lucky #7

7!
Another year has come way too fast!

In Felix's 7 years he has experienced more than a lot of kids. And through it all he always is the happiest little person. I don't love one child more than the other, but now I know what people meant when they said it's a different love with each. My love for Felix comes from so deep within my soul. At times I feel like no one could possibly love him the way I love him. No one could possibly protect him the way I protect him. No one could possibly fight for him the way I fight for him...and then I remember that he has a HUGE following of people that love him. That will protect him. That will fight for him.

He is one of the most caring individuals I have ever met. He is respectful of all people no matter their differences. He loves all animals. He is sensitive. He loves his family. He loves Mother Earth. He truly is the whole package! People are drawn to him; his giggle, his big smile and his twinkle eyes light up the world.

Felix Rene, you make this world a better place. I try to imagine what road you will take when you're older, and no matter what it is I know you will make a difference in the world. You are a good human, I know your curious nature will bring lots of adventures! Always know I will always be along for the ride!

In the words of your favorite song;

And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
I see your true colors
Shining through (true colors)
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow
Ooh ooh ooh like a rainbow

I love you beyond measure, FeFi

He is off!

Yesterday marked Oscar's first day in pre school. We didn't do much prepping. After the fiasco at East Portland we didn't want to talk too much about it. Once we heard Nancy was opening her own, we knew that was where we belonged.

Monday night I felt really good about it all. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be for Oscar...or for Nancy. I didn't tear up. I was actually really excited for him. We talked to him about seeing Teacher Ancy and he seemed to really like the idea.

Tuesday morning hit! I pulled his clothes out...and teared up! Again I wasn't too nervous, but I was sad. I was a little heartbroken. He is my baby, what if I don't get the chance to have another? What if this is the last kid I am sending off? What if he poops and we aren't there to help? What if he screams like he does? What will I do with my time? Some of the mornings Walter and I will have time to ourselves, WHAT? All of those questions went through my head!

Turns out, he was READY! We hung around for a little bit after drop off. He went right in and started playing. He was smiling. He was happy. He said goodbye and we left! He had an amazing first day! When I asked him about it, he actually told me! He played with trains, puzzles, had a cookie and did glitter! My heart cannot be happier. I am at ease with the transition. I am at ease knowing he has Nancy. I am at ease knowing she is not one bit fazed by his energy.

Oscar Vincent, You are going to do big things! I know you are going to do great in school. I know you are going to build amazing friendships. We are so happy that you love it just like FeFe loved it! Happy first week of school, Sweet Potato! I love you beyond measure and look forward to hearing about every day!

New Year

Today officially marks the last day of Summer vacation. I loved our week together. I loved soaking up nine whole days with the boys. 

Tomorrow Felix begins first grade. I have a pit in my stomach. I know many parents are ready for their kids to return to school, that's not me. Although I work Monday through Friday, I absolutely love my mornings with the boys. I love knowing Felix is having the best vacation. I love being able to call him during the day to hear his voice. I am the mom that would be 100% content being home with them everyday. Being a mom to Felix and Oscar is my favorite job in the entire world! 

First grade will be a transition. I worry about every aspect. I worry about his relationships with new classmates, I worry about his connection with his teacher, his lunch, his reading. You name it, I worry.  I know there will be no comparison to Kindergarten, but it felt like home. I loved walking Felix into class every morning. 

Felix, first grade is waiting. Watching you walk in the doors tomorrow will be bittersweet, but I know you're ready! I love you and am so proud of you! 

Free to be 3

3 years old! I cannot believe it! It has happened so fast. This year was a roller coaster, but we really enjoyed watching Oxy grow! 

Oscar is full of life. He is attached to me (I love it), idolizes Felix, and loves snuggling with Walter. He is a physical kid. He loves to run, jump, climb (Felix was the opposite, very cautious). He is strong willed and still very opinionated. There are hard days, but we have learned to much from being his parents. He can be very loud and it can be embarrassing, but no dirty look in the world will make me silence him. His love for life is powerful! 

Oscar Vincent, your dimple smile lights up the room. Your spunk and silly personality is contagious! Your sweet kisses make my heart skip a beat! I love you beyond measure. You are my SUPER! Thank you for bringing so much adventure into our lives! 

Heart Full

Last year I said it had been the hardest year as a mother...well this year surpassed it! This year tested every piece of me! We got through it, we are all happy, healthy and still full of love. I am a better mom because of everything and again I am so proud of myself. Never in my life would I think I would have to advocate so intensely for my family, but this year I did and I did it with pride. 

My favorite rolls in life are being a mom to my boys and partner to Walter. 

I hope all the mother's in my life had a fantastic day celebrating. 

Creative Science

At each drop off I am reminded of how amazing Felix's school is. For our family it is more than a school, it has been a way of life. We chose this school for Felix because we wanted something different. We wanted a place where he'd thrive, something other than the traditional classroom. Felix walks into school with a smile. A smile that so many people comment on. A smile that tells me this is where he belongs. 

Last week, Felix was late to school because he had a dentist appointment. When we walked into his classroom three of his friends greeted him with hugs, smiles and to talk about what they were going to play. What a welcoming crew! Just when I thought it couldn't get better, it did! Felix's teacher called him over to the job table, smiled and said, "Now our class is complete." 

Again, I was reminded that we picked the right choice for our family. As a parent it feels AMAZING to know your child is in a place that is safe and where people care. And I can proudly say that his classroom is full of 22 students and 2 teachers that all care and look out for each other. It's the best feeling! 

C.S.S is our home!

Six

Everyone told me it goes by fast, boy were they right! It's bittersweet for me. I love that Felix is growing up, at the same time it is so hard. 

This year has brought many new stages. Felix now gets embarrassed if we give him too much love at school, if we say certain things or bring too much attention to him. He still loves hard and is one of the most caring individuals. He still likes to hold hands, cuddle at home and talk about life. He really is one of the sweetest people in my life and not just because he is my child! He is a nice kid. A kid that other kids like to be around. He is so inquisitive and loves learning new facts about animals. He LOVES school and LOVES his family. 

Felix Rene,

You bring so much happiness to so many peoples lives! Your smile and giggle are contagious! I love every ounce of your being, and every little beauty mark! I am thankful for having you. You make my life better. You are the reason I fight so hard. Happiest 6th Birthday, Groundhog! You complete me! 

2016

This house is ready to move on! 

2015 has been the hardest year yet; lots of stress, lots of tears, lots of anxiety. During all of the rough patches, we sure made some great memories and all stuck together! 

We couldn't be in a happier place right now. Walter's job has been a perfect fit for him and they treat him the way employers should. Felix is LOVING school. It's crazy to watch his different stages of development. Oscar is talking so much clearer and loves copying Felix. And for me, I have my health, my family and my friends...it's really all I need! 

My hope, is for everyone that had a rough year (and I know there are many of you), to get a break and have a little peace in 2016!

Bring it, we are ready! 

Thankful

2015 has been, hands down, one of the toughest years! So many obstacles, so many lows. I have had some of the best support from friends and family. 

I am so thankful for Walter! Thankful for how hard he works for our family. Thankful for how dedicated he is to us. Without his unconditional love, this year would have felt impossible. We got through it all! I love you beyond words! 

Thankful doesn't even begin to explain how I feel about my mom. There is no support like hers, no love like hers and no compassion like hers! I am beyond thankful to have her by my side every day. She has helped in so many ways this year; helping with the boys, talking on the phone, listening to me cry and letting me just veg out at her house. She is home to me and I am so thankful for her. 

The two that filled my heart when it felt empty, showered me with an endless amount of love, and kissed all my tears away. Felix and Oscar, thankful is an understatement! You two are my world, my being and what I will always continue to fight for! 

Of course, my sisters! When I was scared, you three were all there! When I was sad, you three were all there! When my heart felt crushed, you three were all there! I am so thankful I have you three in my corner! I love you and feel lucky to have you as my sisters! 

And to my friends, so very thankful for all the support and love. Thank you for all the hugs, texts and positive talks. I really appreciate all of you! 

So much to be thankful for this year; health and happiness! Happy Thanksgiving! 

School

This will be a huge transition for us all. Like many parents, the decisions we make are made with our children in mind. 

Felix was nine months old and we decided it would be beneficial if I were home more. My current job opened up and it meant I would have EVERY morning with Felix. It has allowed us to enroll Felix into many classes at the community center, partake in Music Together and to just have time together. 

The start of this school year is bittersweet for me. I chose this job because I wanted to be with him, I chose the community center for him, I chose all of our morning activities with him in mind and now he will be gone! My heart aches that my mornings will be without him, but I am so excited for this new chapter in his life, our life! He is so excited to start school and beyond ready! 

Felix Rene, you are gonna rock at this school thing! Have fun, make friends and remember we will always be cheering you on! We love you, Sweet Potato! 

KINDERGARTEN HERE WE COME! 

Tough as an Ox

Today was like any other day. We got up, the boys had some yogurt, Walter and I were getting ready...and in walked Felix. Calmly, he told me that Oscar fell, but he tried to help him. I asked if he was hurt and he said yes. I walked toward the back door and in walked my bloody faced two year old, crying. I was trying to get the story from Felix, which wasn't very easy to understand. The gyst was that we have a slide in the backyard that is waiting to be built, the boys just couldn't wait any longer. Felix was holding Oscar and somehow he slipped out of Felix's hands? And that's pretty much all the info we can gather. We wiped off Oscars face and immediately knew a trip to the emergency room was needed.

We decided to head to Mt Hood emergency because it is closer to our house and we were all kind of frantic. We were checked in and taken back to a room where the nurse and doctor checked Oscar out. The doctor said his lip would definitely require sutures. And that he would need to be sedated in order for her to get in there and actually do it. She explained the side effects and how rare it is for someone to experience them and that the nurse would be right back to get an IV started. They numbed Oxy's little arms and put in his IV, he cried, but it was short lived. Next the nurse explained that when they sedate a child because of the side affects, they always have a pharmacist, respiratory therapist and another nurse in the room to have on hand. I signed the consent as Walter held my scared little baby and they gave him the sedation medication. Immediately you saw his body calm and that was when my worst nightmare happened...the doctor said "get the other doctor in here, he is having tremors" I escaped the room with Felix in hand, crying. They took Oscar from Walter and laid him flat to open his airway and placed oxygen on him to help. For a split second everyone froze, they froze because most of them had not ever seen the side effect actually happen, they froze because they weren't sure if the gurgling noise was him having a hard time or him being a kid. Within three minutes he was breathing on his own and was being stitched up. 

Oscar ended up receiving four stitches and did great. He definitely was hallucinating with the sedation, which made the scary situation a little better. He just wanted to be held and it was the best feeling in the world to have him in my arms. 

I always knew he would be our first trip to the emergency room for an injury, but I never imagined it would be as scary as it was. This little boy is one tough cookie, I am still recovering from what I witnessed. As everyone explained in that room today, you can watch this all the time, but the minute it happens to your loved one it changes everything. So true for me! I watched time and again in the emergency room at Good Sam, but today was different. Today was so very real.

Foxy Boy, you are amazing! 

2

How did these two years fly by? I love who he is as a person, but am so sad it's flying by. 

Oscar is by far the most opinionated, strong willed babe I have ever met! He knows what he wants, when he wants it. He loves to hug, gawk over babies, give kisses and pet dogs. He will stop in his tracks if he hears an airplane soaring through the sky, sees a truck (guck), spots anything cute (ahhhhhh) or if he notices the moon (moon,moon).

His love for his big brother is out of this world! The way he copies Felix, follows Felix and just loves on Felix fills my heart with joy. They are each other's best friend for sure! 

Oscar Vincent, your love for life is incredible! Your dimple cheeks, one little chocolate spot, gappy teeth and love for music make my world go 'round!  I love you so incredibly much and have had such a great (exhausting) time watching you develop and grow. Reach for the moon baby boy! You, Felix and daddy are my heart and soul! 

You are a daredevil (it scares me), just promise you'll be safe! 

Mom Life

Being a mom is the hardest step I have taken in life, but with 100% confidence I can say I am a great mom to my babies. This has been, hands down, the hardest year of motherhood for me. Looking back on it, I put up a dang good fight! I am proud of the mom I have become, this year taught me a lot! I am proud to have proven to myself that I do have a little fight in me. I am proud to be my boys mom. 

And to my mom and sisters, you have no idea how thankful I am for all your support! You all help in my fight and I love you so very much! 

FIVE

We woke up to a FIVE year old! What a whirlwind of a year it has been! Many ups and downs, many great memories made, many hugs and kisses shared! 

I have loved watching Felix develop into a confident little person. He has gained a lot more independence and is more comfortable trying new things. This year was a lot of work, this year we all learned a lot, this year we all shed a lot more tears then the ones past, but this year I wouldn't trade in. Felix is my continual shining light, my happiness and my dimple face! 

Felix Rene,

You are resilient just like your daddy! You have taught us the true meaning of life! We are beyond proud of you and think you have such a special place in this world. We cannot wait to watch your journey in life. We love you more than all the stars in the sky. Keep shining Baby Beluga!

"My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to 

astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness." -Maya Angelou

Children should be seen and not heard?

People love babies, people love children that are calm and quiet, people do not love children who are opinionated, passionate and expressive (Oscar).

Try raising a child that most people in public roll their eyes at or judge because they think the parents aren't parenting correctly. 

This morning was rough. Oscar, is my child who is opinionated, passionate, very determined, yet so loving. He is my child that is judged because he yells, screams and says few words (he is 19months), he is LOUD! When I say loud, it's an understatement. He does embarrass us, he does make us feel uncomfortable, but just like the parents of the quiet children, he is perfect for us! 

This morning at indoor park, he screamed, he yelled and one mom muttered something under her breath. It took all of me not to say anything because we were around Felix's friends and their parents. It's a horrible feeling, but believe me, Walter and I are on our children. If we see behavior we do not like, we are there. Time outs happen, but they are only for a short period when dealing with a year and a half old. He is wild, but he is also just a baby himself. 

Thanks to the dad at indoor park that yells right along with Oscar, that is teaching his daughter that just like her, Oscar is practicing his voice also. That his voice is just a little louder. It is people like him that make this world go round! Oscar now will seek him out in the gym just to have a yelling match and in all honesty, it makes my heart smile! 

Oscar is completely different than Felix was at this age.  It took some adjusting for us, but my gosh his passion for life is something powerful! He is worth ever ounce of uncomfortableness we ever encounter. 

Oscar Vincent, you are so special. You make some days very hard, but we wouldn't trade them for the world! You have a strong personality, you have so much to give and we love you! 

So remember when you are judging that innocent little person with a loud voice, his/her parents are watching and his/her parents are also feeling judged. These are future adults we are raising, these are people that we are teaching to be tolerant and caring individuals. Please have compassion. 

Ok...and it starts

Five years ago, I was pregnant, I was puffy, I had sausage toes, I was exhausted, but still had 7.5 weeks left.  Music is a necessity in my life and is my comfort when I'm not in my healthy/happy place. 

Walter and I saw the most amazing video on the news one evening. Providence St Vincent made a cancer awareness video, employees and patients wore pink gloves and danced along to a popular song that was regularly played on the radio. We were hooked! Walter picked his favorite dancers, as did I. We even started figuring out who we would use for Legacy's video. We watched the video on repeat, I swear! I mean we learned every word to the song, every word to Lil Wayne's rap, we lived this! I was proud of St Vincent's to have thought of something so awesome, something that went viral and spread awareness! 

I was admitted to the hospital early and had an awesome nurse. Walter and I played the video for her, she LOVED it too! She had a great idea how to recreate this on 5West! At the hospital we listened to the song and watched the video, it made our stressful time so much more happy. 

Once Felix was born, it was the song that helped calm him down, it was the song that he loved to fall asleep too and to this day is the same song he will say is his favorite. The minute the song starts he is bobbing his head! Music is amazing! He was born loving music, loving this song and this just proves that music is universal and good for the soul! 

Enjoy the video, our family can't get enough! 

http://vimeo.com/69200264

Tis the season

It's always so hard for me when Christmas is over. I love this season, I love the lights, I love how festive everything seems and I love our family time.  I will be returning to work tomorrow after five unexpected days off! It was such a nice surprise. I have loved every minute of my time with the boys. We had a wonderful time together and built a million memories. I love the smiles on their faces, the twinkle in their eyes and the squeals of their excitement. Tomorrow will be hard to be away, but I'm ready to end this year back at work. 

We have packed a lot into my days off. Christmas was exciting this year for me (Walter says I say that every year). Watching Oscar learn our traditions filled me with joy! Oscar learning to say Santa was definitely one of my highlights. Felix has followed in my footsteps, embracing every part of this season, which makes me feel like I hit the jackpot! The other evening he asked for all of us to dance around the Christmas tree singing "Jingle Bells", just as I did as a child. I love how magical Christmas was for him this year and how he believed in Santa, with his entire being. 

I have hundreds of pictures to hold onto and to look back at. I can't wait to continue making Christmas magic next year, only 362 days away! 

Christmas at Mor Mor's

Walking Dino! 

Caterpillar Color Matching, he loves!

Peacock Lane!

This last year has been one of the hardest I have ever been through, looking forward to 2015! Happy New Year all! 

Thankful

I am always THANKFUL for my family! My  family is my rock, my favorite part of life! 

Mom, I am thankful for the unconditional love you show my family and especially the boys! They are so lucky to have such an amazing Mor Mor! You always go above and beyond to help and for that I thankful! I love you so much! 

Walter, I am thankful for the type of father and partner you are! I am so glad the boys have you to look up to. The love you show me is the kind of love I hope our boys find one day! We are a good team and for that I am so thankful! I love you! 

Felix, I am thankful for your sweet, caring nature. Your love of the world is heartwarming! In your almost five years of life you have an amazing understanding of what life is about! You have such a gentle soul and for that I am beyond thankful! I love you, Baby Beluga! 

Oscar, I am thankful for your happy nature! Your smile lights up any room you enter. You are such a fun babe, with a loud voice. I love your love for your family and pets, for that I am thankful! I love you, Oxy! 

Signe, Erika and Ada, I am thankful for your loving support. I have had some rough days this past year, but you three are always there! You shower my kids with love and for that I am thankful! I love you guys!